Spain beckons as Britain banks on Lord Sleaze

When Governments throw taxpayers' billions into a bubbling toxic economic cauldron in the hope of rectifying their mistakes and then find their elixir provides no respite for their hard-pressed citizens, which way next is an obvious question.

America will have its answer on November 05, the first day of a new president and elected senators who can correct the fiscal fiasco of President Bush. That’s fine for the US, but Britain seems likely to go bust before a solution to 11 years of McBroon mismanagement of the economy can be implemented.

While America is to have a clear-out, Britain is told the financial rescue will be led by The Prince of Darkness, Lord of Sleaze and sworn enemy of the current Custodian of Empty Coffers. Having upset dozens of countries while exiled in Brussels, Peter Mandelson, minces back into Downing Street, £600,000 better off for his cosy Euro Trade Commission’s stint.

He lost the bra wars with China and failed to reform world trade, good credentials for getting McBroon’s Britain back on its feet. An unelected Custodian of the Empty Coffers hires an unelected, discredited financial manipulator so that “Britain can lead the world out of the credit crunch,” proclaims the desparate McBroon.

Faced with that unrealistic prospect many Brits will be deciding to take their futures elsewhere and, as always, that sunny, friendly place called Spain beckons.

There are enough Spain-bound planes each day to make the Berlin Airlift pale into insignificance and as removal van men have no work in Britain because nobody’s buying, they will be happy to have a few days along the Med shuttling Brits’ chattels into very affordable modern homes.

Amazing how the sound of gentle waves lapping upon a golden beach can blot out the harsh sounds of Britain hitting rock bottom, how lunchtime can be relaxing and life unhurried, how the strong euro can buy so much more. And occasional checks on life and death back in Blighty can be made reading the Daily Mail or The Sun over morning coffee – both papers have enough readers in Spain to print locally.

Take your chances with McBroon and Lord Sleaze shuffling the deckchairs or relax on your very own lounger round the pool in a country that manages its economy better and with transparency and honesty?